Thursday and Gary said I hadn't posted in a while. I don't guess I had to much to say over and above my paranoia about the Foster Parent Specialist coming to our house. I was trying to explain this fear to Darla and I know that it stems from when I was growing up. We were on Welfare my whole life and I remember the caseworker coming to my house. I don't think my mom told me we could be taken if everything didn't check out on these visits. It was just something I believed. Now if someone like that comes I run down the same fears. I am working through it though. See - I am still here and alive. I still have my kids and the two little ones. Everything is O K. Affirmation complete. Sometimes we just have to do a little self talk!
I also am feeling guilty about the hoarding - but I am getting better with that too! (Gosh Darn it)
Putting your feelings out in the open for God and everyone to see is helpful. If I had to come out of the closet for anything this would sure do it! I do hold back on some stuff that my mom or family would see and may be hurtful. Once it is out there it is out there for good.
I start my first class on my bachelors next Tues. I am a little scared because it has been a long time. I want to zip through this and be at the end already! I am not a good waiter!
My step-dad had a scare yesterday and thought he was having a heart attack. He is visiting the doctors today so hopefully we know soon what is going on with him. It could have been gallbladder. I think it is stupid that they can't order an ultrasound at the ER without your primary doctors consent. What the hell is the use? It seems like a tactic to make sure each doctor gets a piece of the money pie to me. But who am I? Nuff said!
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